Happy Easter everyone!
I bet you thought I forgot. Well I’m here to reassure you that I haven’t. It’s just that I’ve been, ummm, contemplative about it. I get that way in the mornings sometimes, and on this particular morning I was watching the burgeoning family of bunnies finishing off what is left of the lawn in my back yard. And contemplating.
So in the midst of all that contemplating, I got to thinking about how when life gives you bunnies, the best thing to do is make bunny-ade (Lemons are out of season). Then it occurred to me that bunnies lay, uhh…chocolate, yes chocolate eggs, of which there are many small piles scattered around the yard. When I say many, I mean like every square inch of the yard is covered with these oh so tiny, but from what my dog tells me, incredibly delicious eggs. It gets hot here in the desert, so the best thing to do is collect them as quickly as possible. Right? We wouldn’t want them to melt and go to waste.
Now don’t give me grief about having a lawn in the desert. I know it makes no sense. It came with the house and the dog enjoys it, and not just because of the end products produced by our long-eared and fuzzy Pez dispensers. Doggins also is grateful for the soft, cool-ish surface he finds himself requiring the use of several times a day.
Put yourself in his…his…his collar; or whatever. You know what I mean, he doesn’t wear shoes and if he did, he wouldn’t need a lawn. But since he doesn’t wear shoes, let me make an analogy. Think about yourself having to use the lavatory, where the seat on your commode is 150 degrees and the water is near boiling. You’d prefer the presence of some grass on your toity as well, I’d suspect. I thought you might understand when we put your short hairs in the metaphorical crosshairs.
So we have grass because everything else around here that he can walk on will singe his feet or cause some sort of puncture wound. You wouldn’t want my dog to have 2ndand 3rddegree burns on his paws and puncture wounds would you? Don’t answer that; you people are twisted.
Back to my idea, which was to put up a sign down on the corner by the mega church advertising an Easter Egg hunt in my back yard. Only $20 per child. How is this not a win-win? Kids love digging around in the dirt and finding little treasures. Parents get to socialize while the kids do their thing. I’ll provide coffee and I don’t know, something boring that adults like to do…like watching TV or waiting in line or something.
So the way I see it, I’m doing a public service and getting paid for it, while adults and children can be entertained removing all of those itty bitty “chocolates” from my back yard. They can even have a bunny or two if they can catch them. Heck, I’ll even provide a Havahart live trap for a modest rental fee of $20 so that families can have a turn at “picking their own” Easter Bunny.
I’ll let you know how it goes…
Wow that took longer than I thought. The handcuffs were a bit snug but they let me go with just a warning and a somewhat tender enlargement on the back of my head. But then again, it was only six hours in a somewhat spartan, but very lovely modern holding cell. The menacing looking gentleman with whom I shared these accommodations seemed a wee bit peeved to learn that his suite was not to be solely occupied by his hulking presence. Moreso perhaps because of my inability to produce on demand the unfiltered Lucky Strikes he was desirous of.
But when I came to, the nice policeman provided me with basic first aid, followed by a brief visit with the paramedic, who told me that I could remove the staples in about a week to 10 days. It’s so nice to know that my tax dollars are going to such friendly and capable people.
With all that said, as far as I can recall, I believe the business was a success.
Speaking of rabbits, this black over black and orange 1982 Volkswagen Rabbit (also known as a Golf) has a mere 59,000 miles and has an asking price of $6,500. This 2-owner vehicle has a 5-speed manual transmission which the seller states shifts smoothly. The brakes, timing belt, shocks, clutch and various expensive doodads have been replaced, but apparently requires some cosmetic enhancements. The top is said to be solid and has a glass back window.
Not disappointingly, it comes full to the brim with Easter eggs as all rabbits do. I’m fibbing, as German Rabbits (1982 was the last year this model was made in Germany) do not lay eggs. Apparently however, they make more than the occasional cameo appearance in hasenpfeffer. But I digress.
Regardless, should you wish to contact the seller about this particular rabbit, click HERE to take your bad self to the listing on Craigslist. Happy Easter!